I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
foreskin is a definite game changer
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
