Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
