Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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