Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
