five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize