Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize