Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
