It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
