idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
