if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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