I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
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