I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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