fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I looked at my own cervix.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
