Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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