Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
