Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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