everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
