You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
