Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
