it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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