i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
