we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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