I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
