i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
