i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
