just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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