So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
