oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
