I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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