new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
