The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
