During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
