Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
