Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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