He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
