apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just gargled with NyQuil
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
