my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My butt remains clenched, sir.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
