ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Can i not drive my cunt home
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
