I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
