when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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