Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
