It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Randomize
