Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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