theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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