Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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