What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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