Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
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Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
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Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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