PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm too high and old for this...
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
