I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
COCAINE IS GR8
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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