I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
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