NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
