How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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