If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
