hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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